Five Easy Ways to Keep Your Church Safe from Abuse: My Response to the Michael Tait Scandal

It’s no secret to anyone at this point that the American evangelical church has an abuse problem. Michael Tait (lead singer of the Newsboys and former member of DC Talk) is only the latest name in the long-and-growing list of sexual abuse scandals. In fact, I posted about this same exact topic about five years ago with the Ravi Zaccharias scandal. Does this mean I’m stuck in a loop, bound to write the same post every five years for the rest of my life?

Or is there something the American evangelical church can actually do about this issue of sexual abuse?

Maybe I'm an optimist, but I believe this problem is actually solvable. Hear me out.

In my experience, most Christians respond to this issue of abuse with some form of indifference or denial, saying there’s no need to “air the dirty laundry” of the church—or claiming these scandals only happen in giant megachurches with so-called “celebrity pastors” at the helm. And these Christians would be wrong. At this point, the victims of abuse number in the thousands upon thousands, most of them are women and children, and most of them come from smaller churches. I see them in my counseling office weekly—and they come from the kinds of places you will never hear about in the news.

Since the laundry seems to be airing itself at this point…wild idea here…but maybe we should just clean up the mess? Scripture says to "remember those who are being mistreated as if you felt the pain and suffering in your own bodies." (Hebrews 13:3b) I don’t hate the church. I don't hate Michael Tait either, I hope he gets the help he needs. I am a Christian who deeply loves the church and earnestly wants it to be the safest place in the world for vulnerable people who are suffering. Think big, warm pile of clothes fresh from the drier. And the good news is: it’s not hard to do! There are five ridiculously-easy safeguards against abuse every church can put into place without a single theological debate required.

These five fixes are just good old-fashioned common sense. They don’t take much time or money or effort—and the best part is, they work! Hindsight is 20-20: that means, if these five fixes had been in place, then I guarantee you that 95% of the people on my couch who have been dealing with all forms of church abuse over the past twenty years would not be there. 

Can your church get all five stars? If not, then why not--what's holding you back from basic common-sense protection for vulnerable people? This is what they call a no-brainer.

I take this graphic on the road with me whenever I have public speaking engagements in churches. I am happy to come speak with your church about this topic or other mental health concerns any time. No group or budget is too small. I will have a new website coming in the fall with more information on FIVE STAR SAFE CHURCHES.

A Sixth Star for the Over-Achievers

Did your church get all five stars? If not, then please feel free to steal this graphic to bring to your next leadership meeting! You can even erase my name and tell them it was your idea--I give you full permission to do that because my only agenda here is to protect people who are vulnerable to abuse. (Also please feel free to email me at sarahtierneycounseling@gmail.com and let me know your church is five star safe or even that your church leadership is considering it—this would honestly be one of the highlights of my year, as a therapist who has felt discouraged by this issue on a regular basis for decades now.)

But even if you’re not in church leadership, you can still personally use this graphic as a litmus test—because if your church leadership is highly resistant to developing these bare-minimum common-sense safety standards about protecting women and children from abuse then you might want to ask yourself if this is really the kind of church you want to be involved with in the long run? Only you can make that decision…but if you are truly in an unsafe situation, then please choose carefully. I’ve heard too many heartbreaking stories.

But hey, if you did get five stars, then I’m going to give you an extra credit challenge! There is a sixth star out there for the over-achievers…

The approach I’m advocating for with “Five Star Safe Churches” is just weed management. It’s an approach that says; “Welp, I might not be able to stop all the weeds…but I can contain them so that the good things can keep growing!” The Ravi Z’s and the Michael T’s of this world didn’t just abuse people—they abused people for most of their careers. And the trauma caused by this kind of prolonged, unchecked devastation is incalculable at this point. The “Five Star” approach might not have stopped the initial abuse incident…but it likely would’ve caught it and prevented decades of further harm. This is what I mean when I say weed management. When I don’t have enough time or energy to weed my own veggie garden at home, sometimes I just cut the bigger weeds back with some scissors or pull out just a few—then later, I come back and do the necessary deep dive and get to all the roots.

The sixth star is for the people who want to go deeper, who want to pull things out by the roots, who want to have those long conversations about culture and theology and the systemic reasons why abuse happens in churches. I mean, why on earth do so many weedy scandals keep popping up in the garden of evangelicalism in the first place!?

For one reason among many, churches in general possess a very unique blindspot: they tend to think of themselves as “the good guys.” We all have blindspots in our lives, me included, and any institution can be touched by a scandal…but the difference between other institutions and churches is that churches specifically have a tendency to think: “Oh, that could never happen here…because we’re the good guys.”

This dynamic happens both on a small scale in tiny congregations and also a large one, at the state and federal level. For one example among many, it is only illegal in thirteen states in the USA for clergy to engage in sexual behavior with those under their spiritual care—though this is widely considered illegal for doctors and therapists everywhere in our nation. For another example, most corporations in my state have been required to complete an annual sexual harassment training for decades now, but this has only recently become the law for churches a few years ago. And I could go on, listing many more examples of ways this “good guy blindspot” can unintentionally lead churches astray and keep them behind the times. Most churches in my experience do not possess: A) a robust definition of what abuse/harassment even is in the first place or B) any appropriate safeguards against abuse/harassment (aka the “Five Star” approach). Instead, churches over-rely on their “good guy” status to take care of things! And that’s where the trouble begins.

So for those who have the eyes to see their own blindspots, then I encourage you to do a deep dive. Because I assure you there are more blindspots out there…a lot more. And there are many more resources out there too, including anything from: Chuck Degroat, Wade Mullen, Diane Langberg, or the organization GRACE (Godly Response to Abuse in a Christian Environment)—who also happens to have a new podcast! Michael Kruger’s book Bully Pulpit is one of my personal favorite reads on this topic. But the options are almost endless. So if you want that sixth star, then dedicate yourself to some digging.

Final Plea 

Recently, one of my besties gave me the birthday gift of attending a conference led by one of my favorite authors and teachers: Suzanne Stabile, along with her husband Joe Stabile, a Methodist minister. We were two of about four hundred people gathered to hear her speak. At one point, she asked for those who had ever been "abused or orphaned by the Church" to stand up. The majority of the room stood up. I would estimate probably 300 people out of the 400. She covered her face with her hands and could not speak. She was not expecting that many people to stand up, no one was. Everyone stood there in silence for several powerful minutes of heartbroken solidarity. You could have heard a pin drop.

May this not become the story of your church. May your church show the love of Christ by protecting the most vulnerable among you. And thank you in advance from an old, sad, but still hopeful therapist for making your church Five Star Safe.

Love, Sarah

PS: Me and my bestie at the Stabile’s conference. Aren’t we the cutest? :)